I may not have much going on but at least my tweets get more likes than Reed Kessler's.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 12, 2016
So these are some of my favorite tweets, since half the people I tell about my Twitter account respond by saying "I don't have a Twitter."
My main job: "here, hold this" pic.twitter.com/13lI3hszlF— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 12, 2016
Does it get any more first world problems than "my show jumper is lame?" Maybe "our VIP table has a bad view of the ring."— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 7, 2016
Being a straight male rider must feel a little like being on The Bachelor. I mean, the 30:1 ratio is about the same, right?— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 1, 2016
I had to do it. #LeoDiKentrio pic.twitter.com/y04dVH27eO— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 16, 2016
Don't tell him about board, tack, riding clothes, show fees and vet bills or he may never text you back https://t.co/5V9JnwtzvU— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 14, 2016
Just saw gf's show bill. I think next time we'll just sneak on to showgrounds after hours and I'll set a course and time her.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 9, 2016
I decided not to go to the Hampton Classic because I was afraid they might find out I wasn't rich and burn me at the stake— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 3, 2016
I like to imagine a time-traveling person from 1900 being super perplexed at us using trailers to transport our transportation devices.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 2, 2016
I'm encouraging my gf to move up in jump height next time she shows only because it would go later in the morning and I could sleep more.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 1, 2016
It is terrifying riding in a car driven by most pro Grand Prix riders. Your Land Rover is not as scopey as your Oldenburg, slow down.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) August 18, 2016
They should add the Olympic sport of complaining about how equestrian events aren't sports since so many people love to do it— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) August 5, 2016
Big eq barns are like Harry Potter houses:— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) August 1, 2016
Gryffindor: Beacon Hill
Slytherin: Heritage
Ravenclaw: North Run
Hufflepuff: Don Stewart
I feel like if my life had a ring announcer I would constantly be hearing "BEEEEP off course"— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) July 16, 2016
I hope one day something will make me as excited as Fernando Cardenas going clear in front of a huge crowd at Tryon pic.twitter.com/qztkJ3QEkX— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 12, 2016
Sometimes when I meet horse people and they ask what I do I tell them I'm a pro rider and see how long it takes them to figure out I'm not.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 29, 2016
Devon, or the two weeks of the year everyone pretends to like Carolina blue, lemons with sticks in them and tornado-like schooling rings.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 27, 2016
Ya'll we got a spiderweb double Rolex jump of doom tonight at Tryon. I want whatever the course designer is on. pic.twitter.com/R5miSS90AV— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 14, 2016
It's hard getting a chicken nugget around here, but I have a cornucopia of options if I'm ready to be saved. pic.twitter.com/67w56zMp4s— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 12, 2016
Monday means another week has gone by that I have successfully avoided my girlfriend leaving me for an Irish Grand Prix rider.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 9, 2016
Kent rolling in to Tryon today like pic.twitter.com/nIcynnwJXJ— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 5, 2016
Float like a Farrington, sting like a Beezie.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 4, 2016
GF: I just got my new Equifit boots in!— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) April 19, 2016
Me: Well try them on and see if they fit you.
GF: ....
COTH on McLain's Clinic: "Our training is not some sort of wizardry." Ok, but how do you explain this picture? pic.twitter.com/m2goNQQBgr— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) April 15, 2016
Headed to Miami so GF can swoon over Scott Brash in person.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) April 9, 2016
When you see McLain is riding Azur in the 5 star tomorrow and is 2nd to last in the order. pic.twitter.com/ptU1k1lRdR— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) March 12, 2016
when you and your BFF finally get some time to hang out pic.twitter.com/AvvpjSJW1m— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) March 5, 2016
McClain when taking pictures with the media pool winner: "don't bet against me." #ok— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) February 28, 2016
Gf just now: "we should have @breyerhorses centerpieces at our wedding"— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) February 21, 2016
ok as long as our table has Cortes C pic.twitter.com/kq5XqBl50U
Also: "You ride so many different horses, do you ever have 'magical' moments with certain ones?"— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) February 20, 2016
Darraugh: "When they leave the jumps up."
Press Conference Q: "What was the idea behind you riding this horse?"— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) February 20, 2016
WEF6 GP winner Darraugh Kenny: "...to get him sold."
But seriously what does McLain do with all these watches? pic.twitter.com/4vQb4mOCq1— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) February 14, 2016
Man these watermarks are getting serious. pic.twitter.com/WEp0EhSjlQ— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) December 23, 2015
The lovely Charlotte Jorst on looking for a new horse:"I need a big horse that’s beautiful and does all the things." pic.twitter.com/1aYSC3PMOf— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) December 17, 2015
Overheard trainer problems: "Everybody in my barn wants a f---ing unicorn."— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) December 9, 2015
New horse show boyfriend level: driving by WEF show grounds and recognizing and pointing out the spotted pony hunter El Niño— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) November 23, 2015
If you snap the rail in half when you knock it down you should only get 2 faults.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) November 20, 2015
Me being done with horse shows after 6 straight weeks (and my favorite pic taken from them) #sharn pic.twitter.com/Xbm0lFSeiS— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 25, 2015
Requirements for trainer:— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 25, 2015
(least to most impt)
- have big name reputation
- help develop you and your horse
- distinctive in-gate cheer
Overheard at schooling ring: "you ever watch a horse jump and think, that's what it would look like if it was pushed out of a plane?"— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 24, 2015
I just watched a full size Hunter chip a crossrails jump. I think I've seen it all now.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 24, 2015
Medal finals drinking game:— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 11, 2015
When standing lists are updated or someone is eliminated: Drink
When Tori wins: Finish Bottle
Girlfriend just now:— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) October 10, 2015
"You would be a mean horse."
When you go clear in a 3* grand prix then realize you're .09 seconds over the time allowed. (PS I <3 Shane Sweetnam) pic.twitter.com/B1W2g5Rwnt— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 27, 2015
I might pick up dressage just so I can do a routine to Turn Down For What.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) September 25, 2015
Ya'll what's a brunello.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) August 16, 2015
Ok why did no one warn me about Pony Jumpers. What is going on here? I am terrified.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) August 7, 2015
I think of show jumping lineage in Harry Potter terms: was a rider born into a wizarding/showing family, halfblood or... Muggle born?— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) July 25, 2015
Being at the Kentucky Horse Park without a golf cart feels like being in a High Jr/AO Classic with a quarterhorse.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) July 16, 2015
Tryon Saturday haiku:— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) July 11, 2015
It is so very hot
So many hunter riders
Still six more hours left
We've got an Adequan circle of doom out here at Tryon. pic.twitter.com/yYkdVRTrHW— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) July 4, 2015
Sunday, or “post your champion ribbon on social media day.” If you’re at a small show make sure you can’t tell in the background. #Congrats— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 28, 2015
Apparently you're supposed to call the WIHS class "the Washington" and not just say "wish" with a lisp. #whoknew— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 7, 2015
Finally found a reason to have a kid: so I can get this rainbow leadline ribbon. pic.twitter.com/zb8sujdV22— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 6, 2015
Go home liverpool oxer, you're drunk. pic.twitter.com/aZtuwAl7U0— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 6, 2015
I need a shirt to wear at the show that says "can I have a ride on your golf cart?"— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 5, 2015
It's so cold at Upperville I think I am about to get a blanket draped over me before I go graze for lunch.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) June 3, 2015
What's more unnecessary, a 2nd jog in Hunter class or the amount of men's bathrooms on most show grounds?— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 30, 2015
Sounds cooler than it is: Hunter Derby.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 29, 2015
I think there was a dude in my frat named Hunter Derby. Party animal.
Maybe if George Morris could commentate our next date she'd be as excited about it as she is about Maclay finals.— Horse Show Boyfriend (@HorseShowBF) May 27, 2015